Wednesday, October 23, 2019

Why Anal Bleaching Is A Thing

model from behind

I'd like to talk to you about anal bleaching. Aha! That got you reading. Good.

This post is about anal bleaching and how it is an indicator of how screwed up our body image is.

Most of us are now aware of these facts:
·         Fashion photos are airbrushed
·         40% of fashion models are anorexic
·         Filters mean even candid photos and videos are now altered

We know we're out of touch on what healthy beauty is about. However, most of us don't really comprehend the extent of the false beliefs we've picked up.

And this leads me to the anal bleaching. When you're making porn, lighting the action is a challenge. You've got two (or three or four etc) people standing up close together. You get shadows. And with high resolution being the norm now, you see every makeup smear, blemish etc.

So, hooray for software editors with artificial intelligence that can track moving objects. With the help of software, an editor can say, "Light up that butt!" and do it with the touch of a button.

The result is a clearer image, and a rear end that's unnaturally light in hue.

The average viewer doesn't know the image has been tinkered with. And after watching hours and hours of the stuff, a fan looks in the mirror or their partner and says, "Does my bum look too dark to you?"

Think I'm exaggerating?  Well, the first reports of dermatologists having non-porno star clients demanding anal bleaching appeared in 2005. Numbers kept increasing. 
And in 2016, the idea got another massive boost when celebrities like Kourtney Kardashian went public with their "improvements". Today there are over the counter creams for people who want to bleach their bums at home.

As Asian media is a bit shy about this topic, you may or may not have heard of anal bleaching. But my point is this: when hundreds of thousands of people become convinced that their bums are the wrong hue and we have cosmetic procedures and product lines for home treatments, you know how powerful and insinuating media messages are and how totally screwed up we are when it comes to healthy body image.

Bottom line: (pardon the pun) don't feel guilty if you have a body image issue. It's a consequence of being alive in 2019. Also, don't just sit there and take it.  

If you are:
·         Suffering from anxiety because you don't 'look right'
·         Purging after big meals
·         Punishing yourself for eating
·         Denying yourself food

See your family doctor, talk to a mental health professional like me, or engage a professional dietician at a hospital. There is help. Just reach out for it.

NOTE: Image by Claudio_Scott from Pixabay

Tuesday, October 8, 2019

You Don't Need To Relive Your Trauma To Heal

word collation image

You know how in the films people who have been attacked have to relive the trauma before they get better? 
Well, that's nonsense. It was standard in Freud's time but we've not done this since the 70s.

Reliving the details of an attack, rape, robbery, sexual assault or other violation is not a mandatory step towards healing.

For some people talking about the event can be helpful. But for many, reliving it re-traumatises them. Also, it doesn't necessarily lead to insights.

As such, standard practice today is not to discuss the actual details of the event. Instead, we focus on support, how you feel today and helping you move on to live your best life.

Here’s how it works. Suppose you were robbed a few months ago and you now find that you become super anxious when you step out of your house. Also, you're afraid of strangers.

Sessions would focus on this:

• Help you feel safe again.

• Help you make a list of your supporters and other resources

• Help you manage and effectively change that fear of going out.

• Help you manage and effectively change that fear of strangers.

• Help you integrate it into the past, so you can focus on the present and the future.

A big part of the process would be talking about the shock and helplessness that usually follows an attack. We might discuss false beliefs like why you might feel somehow that you 'deserved' being attacked, and why so many people blame victims.

As part of the sessions, we would talk about how you can shut down that secret voice inside you as well as coping with the idiots that blame you for being attacked.

We might also talk about the kind of depression that follows from pain (if you had bones broken, for example) and how to manage that.

BUT! We would not have you relive exactly what happened during the robbery. You can heal without sharing every little detail.

Of course, if you think going over events in detail is helpful to you, then we can. But we do it carefully and only after we have mapped out your support network. So when the session ends, you know where to reach out.

I think it's important that this message gets out. Because there are victims who needs help but who are afraid of talking to mental health professionals because they think that they will have to relive all their bad experiences. So, be assured that you don't.

I hope this helps. If you've questions, email me.

NOTE: Image courtesy Mary Pahlke at Pixabay