Why Alfred Adler Got It Wrong: Debunking the Myths of Middle Child Syndrome

How it started: Alfred Adler (1870-1937) was an Austrian medical doctor and psychotherapist who was interested in human development.  Studying his clients, he noticed that older kids in families often turned out a bit differently than middle and younger kids. He thought that these differences were due to birth order.

Alfred Adler

Why it’s wrong: Scientific studies show that birth order doesn’t affect our development. There’s no such thing as “all first borns are x” or “or middle kids are Y.”

What is going on: We’ve come a long way since Adler, especially in hard science. Today we think that our development is a complex mix of genetics, personality, health, how people treat us, our thoughts, our socio-economic status, and our life experiences.

This bio-psycho-social model acknowledges that our early years are important, and a big part of this focusses on how our parents treat us. To a child, a parent is a god. We need them to love us and our world revolves around them.

Parents are also human and constantly evolving. Therefore, the eldest child may have strict parents who hover a lot but by the time there are four kids, the parents may be tired, less involved and maybe kinder too. Or maybe it’s the other way around!

Also, it’s not just parents that matter: our wider family, friends, school, community also are hugely influential. Kids don’t grow up in isolation, they’re growing up in a complex and constantly changing world.

Why does this discredited birth order theory hang around? Most of us have no training in scientific principles; this means we can’t evaluate critically. So we read something, see it two or three times, and assume it’s true. We also love simple ideas. And we’re resistant to letting go of an idea that no longer works.

So when a mental health expert says Adler was wrong, there’s a lot of upset. Online bullying is HUGE!  Because of it, some of my colleagues are scared to say unpopular things. They shut up and go along with discredited ideas – or even pseudoscience.

I think it’s better to know that science is about constantly updating what we know. It’s unsettling but it’s also wonderful. And exciting. Also, it’s my job to help my clients be their best selves, and that won’t happen if they’re basing their decisions on discredited ideas or pseudoscience.

Final thought about Adler. Alfred Adler was a hugely clever man and a nice one too.  He created a theory of mental health that says family, community, and social life are important for good mental health. This is the foundation of the school of individual psychology. This school of thought has changed over the century but it’s still massively useful.

Alfred Adler was also one of the few experts who wrote in simple language, so if you want to read his papers, just google them up. It’s interesting stuff.

And if you’re looking for a therapist who works with current, evidence based approaches, message me today via email ellen.whyte@gmail.com or WhatsApp: +44 7514 408143 for your free 15-minute consultation. 

What's up, Doc? Telling The Pros From The Quacks

 

Doctor, patient, diagnose – they’re powerful words that imply Science, Medicine and a certain reliability and objectivity.  But if you’re not standing in your doctor’s office, I strongly suggest you’re a bit careful.

There’s a chiropractor just down the road from me who wears a lab coat, calls herself “Doctor” and calls her clients “patients.” She also “diagnoses” her clients with various ailments.

I came across her because she terrified one of my friends with her “medical advice.”

So here are some facts:

Anyone with a PhD is a doctor. You can get a PhD in lots of subjects from Astronomy to Zoology.

Medical Degree holders are called Doctor – although they don’t usually have PhDs.

Vets are called Doctor although they don’t have Medical Degrees and usually not PhDs either.

There are lots of professions with their own courses that confer Doctor titles. This includes chiropractors, people who use massage techniques and exercise for healing.

Does it matter?

Chiropractors can be very helpful and healing, and a PhD in zoology might have some insight into human health too. I have consulted my vet for my own health and had some excellent advice (‘cause I’m a cow 😊)

However, they are not medical doctors.

Transparent and honest professional people will tell you, “I’m Dr Jane, I have a PhD in physiotherapy but I’m not a medical doctor.”  Or they just say, “I’m Jane, I have a PhD in physiotherapy.” They also avoid words like “diagnose” and “patient”.

Should we restrict who can call themselves Doctor?

Frankly, I don’t care what people call themselves, as long as they are transparent about their qualifications.

I run a mile from a chiropractor with a white coat who calls herself “doctor”, just as I run a mile from a clinical psychologist who calls her clients “patients.” I avoid them because anyone who uses souped up words like these is pretending to have training that they don’t have.

I find that misrepresentation extremely concerning. I don't trust people like that.

As there are lots of different doctors about, and social media doesn’t check credentials, I’m extremely careful of what I believe online. I ask a lot of questions and it’s surprising how many shady types are out there without a medical degree are giving “medical advice”.  

Here’s what to know about mental health professionals.

A psychiatrist is a doctor, a person with a medical degree and also a specialist. They specialise in diagnosing and treating mental illness. As they are doctors, they can prescribe medicine.

Every other kind of mental health professional, whether they are psychologists, therapists, counsellors, psychoanalysts, psychotherapists, or other titles, are not medical doctors. They cannot prescribe medicine or sell you supplements. (And if they tell you that supplements are part of therapy, they’re scamming you.

As for my titles, I have a Master’s Degree, so you can call me Mistress 😊 Kidding! I’m not a doctor of any kind.

I have a Bachelors of Science with Honours in Psychology from Stirling University, Scotland and a Masters with Distinction in Counselling from Open University Malaysia. I’m also a member of some fancy schmancy organisations like the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy but I don’t put that anywhere except for my invoices because I don’t want people to be thinking MBACP means I’m a doc. Also, I make it very clear that I cannot diagnose, and I have plain clients who call me Ellen.

I hope you find this interesting. Tell me what you think in the comments?

Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay

Why EMDR And Other Pseudoscience Hangs Around

When Prince Harry Talked About EMDR, My Heart Sank

People talking about mental health is usually great for getting folks off the couch and into help. But when they promote quackery, they do harm.

“But EMDR’s backed by the NHS,” you might say. Yes—and the lobotomy was once hailed as brilliant, earning its inventor a Nobel Prize. (Extreme? Sure, but it gets your attention.)

I’m not trashing the profession. I’m explaining the issues so you can make informed choices. We humans get ridiculously attached to ideas—EMDR included—and knowing why can save you time, money, and heartbreak.

Psychology Evolves

Critical evaluation is key

Theories rise and fall. Take Alfred Adler’s claim that birth order shapes personality. It was popular for years until evidence disproved it. Yet the idea lingers—oddly comforting, like blaming sibling rivalry for everything.

Why do ideas like EMDR (“reprocess your trauma with some eye jazz”) stick around even when evidence says it’s basically fancy exposure and cognitive behavioural therapy used by therapists for decades?

1. Understanding Research Takes Training

Evaluating studies requires knowing how sampling, statistics, and context affect results. Academics specialise, and even they struggle to keep up. I focus on depression, anxiety, and abuse. Hand me a paper on autism, and I’m lost—it’s like a marathon runner trying to sail.

EMDR got traction because its creator promoted it well. “Quick results!” sounds irresistible, even when the shine fades.

2. New Ideas Take Years to Test

Once people invest in them, it’s hard to let go. EMDR’s been around since 1987—people built careers on it. Sunk cost, darling.

3. The Public Gets Attached Too

Someone always benefits from any new therapy. Add a celeb endorsement (thanks, Harry), and it feels personal: “I felt lighter after!” We cling to the win, ignoring who it doesn’t help.

So when professionals point out flaws, people get defensive. Explaining why something’s bogus is hard, and “because I said so” doesn’t cut it.

4. Crooks and Cons Market Nonsense Brilliantly

They promise quick fixes with scientific-sounding fluff, set up “schools,” and crown themselves gurus. Faced with, “We’re learning, but I’ll do my best,” versus “Guaranteed cure, pay here,” it’s tempting to buy the snake oil.

We crave certainty. EMDR offers that illusion—“Follow my finger, rewire your brain!”—and it sells.

5. Speaking Out Gets Ugly

Professionals who challenge quackery face backlash from loud defenders. Whistle-blowers burn out, while institutions cave under pressure. Even hospitals run “alternative therapy” departments now. Hello, NHS—you coward. And you too, APA and BACP. 

EMDR’s mob is real; critics get buried under “you’re just jealous” noise. 

6. Some Professionals Join the Dark Side

Selling pseudoscience is easier and pays better. I know psychologists and doctors who ditched real practice to peddle nonsense. Sometimes I think I should hike my fees and sell NLP, EMDR, and dream readings—but I couldn’t face the mirror.

The Bottom Line

Telling what’s real takes work. Truth evolves, controversy thrives, and our attachment to hope keeps nonsense alive.

If you want to try EMDR, that’s your call. It won’t hurt you physically, just your wallet. But it may keep you chasing shadows when plain exposure therapy and CBT does the same job without the sparkle.

If you’d rather work with evidence-based approaches that actually stick, let’s chat. I’m a qualified psychotherapist (BSc Hons Psychology, Master’s in Counselling with Distinction). I handle the research so you can focus on healing. No scams, no sparkle—just real progress.

Message me today via email ellen.whyte@gmail.com or WhatsApp: +44 7514 408143 for your free 15-minute consultation.

How To Spot Fake Counsellors and Therapists (Including 'doctors')

Fake doctors who prey on those looking for help with autism, Alzheimer's, depression and other issues, are rampant in Malaysia and other parts of ASEAN. A sign of how bad it is, was a feature Quacks A Threat To Public in our national press a few weeks ago. 

If you missed it, here is an explanation of how they get away with it, and how you can avoid them.

In general, public hospitals tend to vet their people

In general, you can trust a psychiatrist to be real as these are medical doctors and governments are usually hot on policing those. Usually.

Medicine and medical tests are the province of medical doctors. Of the mental health practitioners, only psychiatrists, medical doctors who specialise in mental health, do these.
Psychologists, therapists, counsellors and so on don't them
So, if you're asked for a urine test or told to buy vitamins or whatever, and you are not talking to a psychiatrist - run!

Governments can be lax about who's calling themselves a psychologist. But universities will out fakes who claim to be alumni, although it can  take a while.

Everyone knows about the fakes and so we're careful to state on our business cards and websites exactly what we studied and where.
If you don't see the name of a university, run.
If you don't see the exact qualification, run.

Money. Crooks are usually more expensive than the real deal.

Want to check out my credentials. They're here. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“If it’s quackery, why is it working for me?”

One of the things I find fascinating about psychology is that it’s a field riddled with controversy.

That goose is skeptical, but open to what sticks.

The definition of psychology is that it is the scientific study of the human mind and its functions, especially those affecting behaviour in a given context.

 

However, when you don’t have universal agreement on the definition of basic terms like normal and healthy, then you’re going to have a lot of fights over what’s proper.

As psychology is constantly evolving, there are a lot of discredited theories. That’s okay because we’re all learning. (Go to the end of the article for a short list. Freud is on it!)

To make it more complicated, there are con artists working in the mental health field. But here's the good news: Spotting them is easier than you think, and choosing real help can be a game-changer.

Mental health attracts con artists for many reasons, including:

Scared=Easy Target: Desperate people don’t think clearly so they are easy to fool. But flip that: A calm, qualified chat can turn desperation into direction. I've seen it flip lives in one session.

$$$ Fast Money: Desperate people will part with money quickly, hoping that paying over hard earned cash will magically help them find a ‘fix’. The upside? Evidence-based therapy delivers real, lasting value without the empty promises.

Power Opportunity: It’s easy to influence frightened people. Cons and nuts find that being The Guru is an easy way to power. Yet, true empowerment comes from a therapist who guides you to your own strength; not theirs.

Many of the con artists here in Malaysia call themselves ‘Dr’, talk a lot about the unconscious, and the really cheeky ones run urine and blood tests - all at extortionate prices. (Eye-roll worthy, right?)

I’ve blogged before about how to avoid mental health con artists. Today I’m focusing on a sensible question I’ve been asked, “If it’s quackery, why is it working for me?”

The answer isn’t a simple one but here are some points to consider.

#1 How much time do you spend on your mental health?

If the answer is, “Erm.... dunno. Minutes a month.” then you have to consider that spending a whole hour every week on identifying your issues is helpful all by itself.

Sometimes, all you need is to focus on what’s up and you can find the solution for yourself.

#2 Being upset means you don’t think straight

For most of us, thinking about a problem goes like, “Why am I feeling so bad? This sucks. I hate this.” And on and on and on for hours.

This is not helpful.

Sometimes just sitting down with a person who can help you focus on unraveling your thoughts is enough to clear the fog. The relief? Game-changing. Clients often close at the end of our first session saying, 'Wait, I can breathe again.'

#3 Empathy goes a long way

When I said earlier that psychology is full of controversy, Freud springs to mind. Some of his theories were absolutely bonkers, yet he nailed the empathy bit. 

If you read his books and papers, it’s very easy to see why he was effective: he was genuinely interested in people and he was a thoughtful man.

Sometimes, just having an understanding ear is enough to help.

This of course begs another question: “So if I see a quack who has good intentions, an empathetic attitude, and I’m willing to spend the time, what’s the problem?

A wacko quack can cause real damage

Just this: a wacko quack can cause real damage.

Think about it in terms of fixing a car. If you see blue smoke coming out of the engine, you can take it to a cowboy mechanic and one of two things happens: you strike lucky and it’s fixed, or you pay your money and end up with a vehicle that blows up. The good news? With a certified mechanic (ahem, therapist), it's more like a smooth upgrade to a turbo engine—no explosions, just reliable power.

It’s the same with mental health.

So, steer clear of the quacks. But here's the exciting part: Armed with this info, you're already ahead. Ready to trade fog for focus? Your mental health is too important to gamble on. Let's build something solid instead.

 

As a qualified psychotherapist with a BSc (Hons) in Psychology and a Master's in Counselling with Distinction, I provide evidence-based therapy that's grounded in science and tailored to your needs—without the risks of unproven methods.

 

If you're ready for safe, effective support to navigate your mental health challenges, message me today via email ellen.whyte@gmail.com or WhatsApp: +44 7514 408143 for your free 15-minute consultation. Let's work together to clear the fog and build lasting clarity.

 

PS If you’re curious why pseudoscience is increasingly popular, check out Prof Patrick Grim who's one my favourites, or throw the terms pseudoscience into Amazon to see a list of current publications. It’s an awesome field, and worth taking a look at.

Curious what psychological theories are considered nonsense by insiders? Here’s a paper you’ll love. (Skip straight to page 518 for the full list.) For a quick nerd bonus, top pseudosciences include:

o       Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) for treatment of mental/behavioral disorders

o       Freudian dream analysis for treatment of mental/behavioral disorders

o       Rage reduction therapy for depression