The New Normal Is Breaking Us — Here’s How to Stay Whole

The pandemic hit global mental health hard and the fallout isn’t over. A major international study released last week confirms that disconnection and overwhelm are still rising, with Gen Z and Millennials struggling to flourish like generations before them. Here is my June 2025 blog post.

The New Normal Is Breaking Us — Here’s How to Stay Whole

Feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or stuck in tough relationships? You’re not a snowflake and you’re not alone.  

In the past, we had a U-shaped curve of well-being where people felt happiest in youth and older age, with a common dip in life satisfaction during midlife. That U is now looking like an L.

The recent Harvard and Baylor University Global Flourishing Study that evaluated 200,000 adults in 23 countries reveals worrying trends:

First, young people aged 18 to 29 report much lower well-being than older generations, especially in countries like the UK, US, Germany, and Australia.

Second, adults in their 30s and 40s show relatively flat scores instead of moving up and flourishing as previous generations did.

This is just the latest of studies that show showing increasing rates of:

Therapy isn’t weakness — it’s strategy.

• Anxiety and burnout
• Loneliness and low motivation
• Lack of meaning or direction
• Strained relationships at home and work

It’s not clear what is driving this, but many studies point at: ‘always on’ culture, social disconnect, increasingly toxic social media, a poor global economy, and more.

While there’s no magic fix, studies show that regular therapy offers a clear, proven path to relief and resilience.

What Regular Online Therapy Can Do For You

You can read these recent large studies, 2019 journal paper, 2020 journal paper and 2021 journal paper  or skip to my handy summary:

Manage Stress and Anxiety. Therapy helps you understand your triggers and build real-world coping skills, leading to less overwhelm and more calm.

Improve Emotional Regulation. Instead of bottling things up or burning out, therapy gives you tools to stay balanced and in control, even under pressure.

Relationship Clarity. People are tricky. If you struggle with work, family, or partners, you can use therapy’s safe space to untangle relationship stress, communicate better, and set healthy boundaries.

Define Purpose and Direction. If you’re stuck or drifting, therapy can help you uncover meaning, refocus, set goals, and connect with what really matters to you.

Therapy Isn’t Just for Crisis Anymore; It’s for Growth

There is a perception still that therapy is for huge problems, like a divorce or recovering from abuse, or that it’s strictly for CEOs and founders. 

That may have been true for previous generations. However, current global instability and change suggests it’s time we rethink this. 

You wouldn’t wait for your engine to seize before seeing a mechanic. So why wait for a breakdown before seeing a therapist?

If you want to:

• Stress less
• Communicate better
• Feel more emotionally grounded
• Build a life that feels like yours

regular therapy could be one of the best investments you make this year.

Therapy isn’t weakness — it’s strategy. Make space for your mental well-being and flourish. You’re worth it. Message me today via email ellen.whyte@gmail.com or WhatsApp: +44 7514 408143 for your free 15-minute consultation. 

Image by John Hain from Pixabay

Silent Epidemic: Why Social Anxiety Is Exploding, And How You Can Craft A Path To A Happier, Healthier You

We say that anxiety is a mental illness, but few people appreciate exactly what this means. So let’s talk about Julie.

Julie’s Story

Julie doesn’t like to go out. “I’m a bit plump, my family are not rich, and I can’t afford designer handbags,” she says. “When I go out, people will judge me.”

When Julie gets a new job, she is excited. She doesn’t aim for CEO but she wants a decent career path so she has enough money to live without worrying about bills. She hopes to buy a house at some point or to travel.

Social Anxiety Disconnects Us

But as Julie doesn’t like to go out, she goes to the office and then goes straight home. She doesn’t join her colleagues for the weekly after-office drink, and works from home as much as she can.

When her line manager points out that she’s disconnected from the team and that upper management don’t know her, Julie feels nervous.

She wants to be seen but when next invited to go out for a drink, she refuses. She also ducks out of the annual dinner.

To herself she says, “I do my job. That is all that matters.” But secretly she thinks that if she goes out, they’ll judge her.

Julie does a great job. However, six months later she misses out on a promotion. The boost goes to a colleague who is less able than Julie, but he is the bloke who is there, chatting with the bosses at the bar and smooching at the annual corporate dinner.

Because whether we like it or not, business decisions are influenced by connection and friendship.

Everyday Choices or Anxiety?

Julie thinks she’s making everyday choices. However, the truth is that her fears are sabotaging her career advancement.  

Here is what we miss when we talk about anxiety being a mental health issue:
Anxiety creates a nightmare world and convinces us that it is real.

When you live with anxiety, you live in a nightmare – but you don’t see it! You think you are perfectly okay but the truth is that your life is constrained by your fears.

Key Takeaway: when your fears prevent you from living your best life, you have an anxiety issue.

Recognizing Social Anxiety

Here’s what social anxiety looks like:

You have an intense fear of being judged.
You avoid social situations.
If you are in a social situation, or maybe just thinking of one, you are nervous.
You are convinced that you suck at being social.

Summary: if it’s a choice between conversation or Zombie Apocalypse, you’re eating brains.

Why Social Anxiety Is Increasing

According to studies, social anxiety is increasing. Sifting through hundreds of studies, one analysis in 2023 pointed out that the COVID-19 pandemic led to a 25.6% increase in anxiety disorder cases (76.2 million additional cases) and a reset is likely to be slow. 

I believe there are several factors fueling social anxiety:

Talking has been largely replaced by texting. So when you do meet people face to face, just chatting feels weird. It is also more immediate. You can check a text; it’s harder to filter your words.

Online communication is forever. Young adults are used to having every single word they’ve said picked apart and criticized by the pack.

Plus, what they thought when they were 12 is still held against them when they’re 28. It’s unfair, and damaging.

Because of the factors above, I see Gen Z as a traumatized generation; young people have been attacked and harassed to the point where they are often shut down.

The pandemic is important because it has added to the disconnect. But we were already well on the way to trouble.

In a broader sense, social convention and social space architecture are now focused on separation (wrongly dubbed ‘privacy’)

Schools put desks in rows, not in small groups.
Teachers let students do group work with their close friends instead of encouraging them to work randomly with others in their class or year.

Coffee shops and canteens have moved from communal tables to individual tables.  Even pubs have individual tables instead of communal bars and tables.
 

Social disconnect is increasing to the point of absurdity.

I saw a promotion this week for a bus company trip to the next town that highlighted, “We promise never to seat you next to a stranger” meaning they will make sure you have an empty seat next to you rather than ask you to *gasp* sit next to someone for 2 hours!!!

Overcoming Social Anxiety

Don’t let fear clip your wings; you deserve to soar.

The tricky bit about anxiety is that there is usually a kernel of truth in the nightmare. There are people who judge others by the pound or bank balance. That says something about them, not us.

Julie knows this! But anxiety is a mental health issue, remember?  

While a bit of Julie knows her fears are irrational, the main effect is that it is overwhelming.  

The key to effective change is exposure. In non-therapy speak, Julie needs to build up positive experiences to rethink her reality.

In sessions, Julie actively challenges her negative thoughts, practices her social skills in a safe space, and then slowly creates positive experiences in real life.

It is a gradual process where each positive experience helps build up her confidence.

So, if you see a bit of Julie in you, know you’re not alone. Also, there is help.

Don’t let fear clip your wings; you deserve to soar. Message me today via email ellen.whyte@gmail.com or WhatsApp: +44 7514 408143 for your free 15-minute consultation.

Images by kandhal keshvala, Pete and WOKANDAPIX from Pixabay

It's Okay To Be Not Okay Post-Pandemic

Are you worried that you're not 'back to normal' with the lifting of the lockdowns? If so, you're not alone. Also, I think you should not worry about not being as you were pre-pandemic. Here's why.

We're being told that going out of lockdown = normal. No, it's not.

When we go out, everyone is wearing masks. It means we can't see expressions, and it reminds us of the pandemic. Not normal.

Also, everywhere you go, you have to check in, take temperatures and there are police and guards all over. Not normal.

If you're at work, there are SOPs, probably more masks, and you're constantly aware of having to maintain distance. Plus, you may be worrying that someone is infectious. Very stressful. Not normal.

Finally, if you do meet with friends, it's likely a part of the conversation is about the pandemic. While it's natural, that topic also reinforces the fact that we're in a pandemic. The tail-end of one, but still a pandemic.

So, my suggestion is this:

• Things are not normal.
• It's perfectly okay to feel what you feel.
• Accept that having feelings is a good thing. Being human means having feelings.
• Also, as emotions and feelings are notifications about your inner world and your environment, try to figure out exactly what you're feeling.  You may be uncertain, fearful, angry, sad, intent - whatever it is, just see what is going on with you.
• Once you figure out what your emotions are telling you, help yourself cope. This can be tricky because it's intensely personal. But usually, knowing what's going on, plus a bit of breathing, and distraction (pet the cat! Talk to a friend!) can work wonders.
• But most of all, know that your reactions are perfectly okay. This is not normal times.

PS if you need help figuring out coping strategies, contact me. We can work it out together

Note: Image by Bella H. from Pixabay

Missing The Covid Lockdowns? The Introvert’s Guide To Socialising

Are you secretly relieved that the Covid lockdowns have given you a really good excuse to avoid social obligations? If so, you’re not alone.

Usually, we talk about introverts being drained and/or overwhelmed by social interaction and extraverts being fueled by social interaction. And typically, we think that people are one or the other.

However, it’s not quite that black and white.  

Stress, Emotion and Sociability

During holidays, do you sometimes overbook your schedule and find yourself groaning at the thought of another dinner or party – even if it’s with people you love?

I see introversion-extraversion as a continuum, and I think our position changes according to various elements including our general stress levels and our emotions about the type of event.

For example, I might rate myself as a 7 when it comes to going out for lunch, dinner and hanging out with colleagues and friends. However, a horrible month at work might push me to a 4 or even a 3 for a few weeks.

Or, I may be a 5 about socialising with strangers, but rate myself at a 9 when it comes to meeting friends.

Of course, there are people who say that no matter what, they are more towards one end of the scale than the other.

Tip: Schedule for Stress

If you're a typically on the introvert side of the scale, then you may face some challenges as work and study often include networking and other social components.

From sessions with introverts, the most practical bit of information is that it can be helpful to see whether you are best off scheduling all your social interactions on one day or whether you are better pacing yourself throughout the week or month.

This is very personal, and likely linked to your overall energy levels, so do what suits you best and know that what you like now may change from time to time.  

Tip: Reward Yourself

This is controversial, however, studies into anxiety and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder suggest that reward can help rewire your emotions somewhat. (Source, and another source, and another source)

This is a blog post and we’d need a book to discuss it but I think it can be useful to say to yourself: I have to attend a conference and make nice with strangers for work. So my goal is to attend three presentations where I can sit silently and smile a lot, and then to talk for two minutes to three people and six minutes to two more people. After that, I consider it job done and I get a reward.  

For this, the important thing is to: pinpoint the issue, pinpoint your goal in clear terms, and then after you’ve completed it to pat yourself on the back and reward yourself.

Note: the patting yourself on the back is part of a mindful strategy. Again, mindfulness is controversial because studies are usually small and tend to overreach with their claims. However, practically speaking, clients tell me that they feel a bit daft sometimes at the mindful self back-patting but they also note that it helps.

Types of Introverts

Even more interesting, Jonathan Cheek, a psychology professor at Wellesley College, suggests there are different kinds of introverts.

Social Introverts 
Prefer small groups to large ones. Or prefer solitude over any kind of socialising. 

Reserved/Restrained Introverts
Take a while to warm up and are then okay 

Anxious Introverts
Worry they may 'do the wrong thing' while socialising and ruminate afterwards, often falsely convinced they've somehow messed up

Thinking Introverts
Usually creative, live in their own mind world and have trouble connecting outside of it

Socialising For Introverts - Organised by Type

Figuring out how much you want or can socialise is personal. But if you're looking to get out and about a bit more, here are some suggestions for activities.

Note: these come from me, not from Creek's work. This list is the result of working with introverts in sessions. So they're tested but there's nothing 'scientifically proven' about them. They're a suggestion.

Activities for Social Introverts 
As your top preference is for personal time, do things by yourself.  

If you have to socialise, try to keep groups very small and opt for engagements that are time limited. For example, avoid dinner parties that include hours of lingering over coffee and go for weekday lunches where people need to get back to work. 

Activities for Reserved/Restrained Introverts
Try sticking to socialising with a small group of people whom you already know and like. Think dinner or lunch parties with individuals or with small groups of good friends or perhaps mall walking or a private hike with a good friend.

The main point is to avoid activities where strangers will be invited or present. For example, you may enjoy playing squash, badminton or some other sport where you play in pairs with friends. But you might find it too stressful to join leagues where you are paired up at random.

Activities for Anxious Introverts
Go for a one-on-one with gentle and empowering people and think about structured activities so that you have a game plan to follow. (also, read up on how stress provokes your anxiety to push up your hidden fears.)

For example: two of you going on a bicycle ride, two of you baking cookies, two of you going to the cinema or theatre (lots of quiet sitting about!). Or taking a flower arranging class (very structured, so you have very structured conversations)

Activities for Thinking Introverts
For you, consider taking the same approach as the social introverts but include the caveat that when you do socialise, pick small groups of like-minded people who share your passions and only attend events that are based on your passions. 

For example, one on one chats with a close friend over a lunch are great, and you may want to attend a class, tour or lecture based on your topic of interest. However, think twice about going out with good friends to do something new as it will likely stress you. 

Tip from Sessions About Comfort Zones

If you feel you need to expand your comfort zone, plan to dip in a toe and have a plan to exit quickly if you become too stressed. Also, take it slowly. As you are sensitive to stress and possibly quite resistant to change, consider trying it a few times before you truly know if it's for you or not. 

Finally, my introvert clients tell me that they find good exercise and sports include yoga classes and swimming because people don't talk during those. One person sports like running, plogging, and cycling are good too. But don't go for diving or dancing, because people tend to chat a lot during those activities. 

Hope you found this interesting.  If you ever want to talk to a mental health professional about this or some other matter, contact me.