Queen Bees? Try Survival Mode

You’ve heard the toxic stereotype: women at the top don’t help other women because they’re jealous. Finally, a major study has set the record straight.

In this post we break it down and show you how to spot companies that truly support equality (or how to build one yourself).

Not Queen Bees — Just Trying to Survive

Ever wonder why some senior women empower others and some don’t?

PhD student Sofie Wiersma and her team analysed the careers of 1,808 top female executives from 1,177 large companies in 42 countries. Published in May 2025, the research found:

Women who get real support early in their careers go on to support other women once they reach the top. (source)

So much for the “queen bee” myth. The truth? When organisations only allow one or two token women to succeed, women are forced into competition — not out of jealousy, but to protect their own hard-earned careers.

One World by Geralt from Pixabay

I believe this applies to everyone who is marginalised.  Most of us want to lift others up. But we need the freedom to do it without risking everything we’ve built.

So how do you find (or create) a workplace that supports everyone properly?

What Real Empowerment Looks Like

Some companies shout “diversity!” while pointing to one woman on the board and quietly shutting the rest out.

Also? Many male executives think discrimination is over. It’s not.

Demand Hard Data
Good companies track and publish gender stats — from junior roles to C-suite — including progress, setbacks, and specific goals.
See: 2022 study by Dr Michelle Ryan 

Pay and Promotion Audits Matter
Men are often promoted for potential. Women have to prove themselves first. Pay gaps also persist.

Good companies do pay audits, ensure equal pay, and publish transparent promotion criteria.
See: 2023 study led by Dr Leanne S. Son Hing 

They Understand Intersectionality
All women face bias — but age, race, class, sexuality, and more compound it.

Example: Asian women are often stereotyped as “sweet” — not great if you're a leader.

Strong companies acknowledge this and tailor interventions.
See: Meta-analysis led by Dr Andrea Tricco 

Quick Checklist: Research Before You Apply

- Read annual reports: gender stats, pay gap, and progress on goals
- Review parental leave, flexible work, and anti-discrimination policies
- Look at leadership: if the C-suite isn’t diverse, that’s a red flag
- Check Glassdoor and LinkedIn for honest employee insights
- See if their clients and suppliers reflect their stated values

That’s it for today. If you want another read, I suggest How To Be Happy At Work - When You Don’t Like Your Job 

The New Normal Is Breaking Us — Here’s How to Stay Whole

The pandemic hit global mental health hard and the fallout isn’t over. A major international study released last week confirms that disconnection and overwhelm are still rising, with Gen Z and Millennials struggling to flourish like generations before them. Here is my June 2025 blog post.

The New Normal Is Breaking Us — Here’s How to Stay Whole

Feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or stuck in tough relationships? You’re not a snowflake and you’re not alone.  

In the past, we had a U-shaped curve of well-being where people felt happiest in youth and older age, with a common dip in life satisfaction during midlife. That U is now looking like an L.

The recent Harvard and Baylor University Global Flourishing Study that evaluated 200,000 adults in 23 countries reveals worrying trends:

First, young people aged 18 to 29 report much lower well-being than older generations, especially in countries like the UK, US, Germany, and Australia.

Second, adults in their 30s and 40s show relatively flat scores instead of moving up and flourishing as previous generations did.

This is just the latest of studies that show showing increasing rates of:

Therapy isn’t weakness — it’s strategy.

• Anxiety and burnout
• Loneliness and low motivation
• Lack of meaning or direction
• Strained relationships at home and work

It’s not clear what is driving this, but many studies point at: ‘always on’ culture, social disconnect, increasingly toxic social media, a poor global economy, and more.

While there’s no magic fix, studies show that regular therapy offers a clear, proven path to relief and resilience.

What Regular Online Therapy Can Do For You

You can read these recent large studies, 2019 journal paper, 2020 journal paper and 2021 journal paper  or skip to my handy summary:

Manage Stress and Anxiety. Therapy helps you understand your triggers and build real-world coping skills, leading to less overwhelm and more calm.

Improve Emotional Regulation. Instead of bottling things up or burning out, therapy gives you tools to stay balanced and in control, even under pressure.

Relationship Clarity. People are tricky. If you struggle with work, family, or partners, you can use therapy’s safe space to untangle relationship stress, communicate better, and set healthy boundaries.

Define Purpose and Direction. If you’re stuck or drifting, therapy can help you uncover meaning, refocus, set goals, and connect with what really matters to you.

Therapy Isn’t Just for Crisis Anymore; It’s for Growth

There is a perception still that therapy is for huge problems, like a divorce or recovering from abuse, or that it’s strictly for CEOs and founders. 

That may have been true for previous generations. However, current global instability and change suggests it’s time we rethink this. 

You wouldn’t wait for your engine to seize before seeing a mechanic. So why wait for a breakdown before seeing a therapist?

If you want to:

• Stress less
• Communicate better
• Feel more emotionally grounded
• Build a life that feels like yours

regular therapy could be one of the best investments you make this year.

Therapy isn’t weakness — it’s strategy. Make space for your mental well-being and flourish. You’re worth it.

Image by John Hain from Pixabay

Letter to my MP, Andy Mcdonald: "Protect Children, Not Abusers – Urgent Family Law Reform Required"

I write to my MP to push for change. This is my latest email to him.

Dear Mr Macdonald,

I live at REMOVED. I am a level 7 registered BACP psychotherapist specialising in helping clients recover from stress, anxiety, depression, and abuse.

Did you know that sexually violent parents are regularly granted custody or contact rights in England?  Even convicted paedophiles are awarded access to their children through family court decisions.

I work with adults who were forced as children to be in contact with their sexually abusive and violent parents. I also work with parents whose now divorced sexually abusive and violent parents are still given access to the kids. In both scenarios, the impact is devastating.

A 2023 study by the University of Manchester found that violent men are using parental alienation allegations as a weapon to trap, silence, and pathologise mothers. Source

The later 2024 independent govt report into the way Family Courts handle abuse confirmed this. Govt Report

Even when there are guidelines, the concept that children have the right to be safe seems to pass some judges by completely.  

I am writing to you because I want you to a) speak up about this, b) push for legal changes, and c) ensure that judges follow new laws.

Please push for:

Change in Law Regarding Presumption of Contact: The family court system prioritises parental contact at the expense of child safety. This approach has led to situations where children are placed in contact with abusive parents.(The Guardian, Walker Family Law)

Transparency in Family Court:  Family courts have had little to no public scrutiny due to secrecy laws. This is now changing a little but it’s not enough. Lack of transparency hampers efforts to assess the extent of the issue, and allows judges to ignore basic principles of safety.

To help your staff research this, here are some resources with solid information.
 

BBC Investigation (2023): A BBC investigation uncovered multiple cases where children were compelled to have contact with fathers accused of abuse, including some who were convicted paedophiles. In these instances, the fathers leveraged claims of "parental alienation" to counter allegations against them, sometimes resulting in the courts granting them custody or contact rights. (The Guardian, Walker Family Law)

Domestic Abuse Commissioner's Report (2023): The Domestic Abuse Commissioner for England and Wales highlighted systemic issues within the family court system, noting that the misuse of "parental alienation" claims can overshadow genuine abuse allegations, potentially endangering children.  (Today's Family Lawyer, The Guardian)

Parliament must not delay in reforming a system that continues to prioritise access over safety—children’s lives depend on it.

Yours sincerely,
Ellen Whyte