Fed up and want to quit? You're not alone. Here's how to do it and guard your mental health.

It’s cold! I’ve got a cardigan on and the cats are in bed – snuggling in the duvet. Summer is over, autumn is coming in at a clip but we take joy in hot chocolate 😊

It’s a change, and speaking of which:

If you’re fed up and want to quit your job, you’re not alone.

2026 surveys show that large numbers of professionals are considering or actively seeking a job switch: Malaysia (92%), UK (53%), Singapore (49%) and USA (43%).

One of the drivers is AI. A huge CNBC-Microsoft study in July found that about 1 in 4 workers, and nearly 1 in 3 students, are rethinking their industry because of AI.

Other drivers include looking for better salaries, more meaningful work, and a better work–life balance.

All change though is frightening. New environments mean new risks, challenges, and learning. Our brains are wired to see change = danger.

If you’re considering changing jobs or careers, here are three research‑backed ways to protect your mental health during the process:

1. Try for stages, rather than one giant leap. Smaller, planned steps feel more controllable and lower anxiety.

2. Guard your routines. Prioritise sleep, regular exercise, and have fun with friends or family. Ideally, you schedule ‘no work chat’ blocks of time so the change doesn’t take over your whole identity.

3. Watch out for and manage anxiety, low mood, or trauma flares as stress builds.

I’ve moved countries five times, with three major career changes. It’s always a rollercoaster, but with good planning and support, you can come out of it feeling happier and brighter.

If you’d like some help smoothing a transition, we can check in, assess what’s going on and design a sensible path forward together.

That’s it.

Warm wishes,
Ellen

Sources: Reeracoen thrivegroup.co lbc.co techcoffeehouse tradingeconomics SurveyMonkey

Frustrated With Therapists Who Only Reflect Your Feelings? Try Solution-Focused Brief Therapy

Client: She sabotaged me at work, and I know she did it deliberately.
Therapist: How do you feel about that?
Client: I wanted to kill her!  Clearly, I can’t. But still!
Therapist: I’m here for you.
Client: I don’t know what to do about this.
Therapist: How do you feel about that?
Client: ….!

Emotions matter because they give us insight into what may be going on in our lives or our heads. Anger, for example, is a reaction to injustice. So knowing what you’re feeling is useful.

Having a therapist who helps you figure out emotions is useful and being affirmed is not just lovely but gives you the courage to make positive change.

However, if you’re trying to work out new and better ways to manage regular issues, it can be very frustrating to work with a therapist who sticks purely to feelings and affirmation.

The Key to Success: Recognising Approaches

If you want to help someone manage their mental health, you need a proper approach. That means a theory of what constitutes good mental health, what leads to issues, and how you can help the client achieve better mental health.  

There are over 50 different approaches!

The one above is based on client-centered therapy, a system developed by Carl Rogers in the 1950s.

Inkie, because all blog posts are improved by a cat

Rogers believed that therapy clients were looking for personal growth, so he focused on creating a supportive and nonjudgmental environment by reflecting the client's feelings, showing empathy, and fostering unconditional positive regard.

It’s great stuff but it is not really suitable if you’re looking for advice or solutions.
One of the pitfalls of giving advice is that what works for me may not work for you. Luckily for us, though, there is a therapy approach that focuses on creating solutions safely.

Unsurprisingly, it’s called Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT).  This approach was created in the 1980s, a time when efficiency was highly prized, by Steve de Shazer and Insoo Kim Berg.

Solution-focused therapy assumes you have good mental health, are skilled and are just looking for solutions for everyday issues.

Basically, we look at the problem, identify your strengths and resources and work out ways in which you can effect positive change.

Sometimes we use the miracle question, where you imagine how your life will be if the problem is resolved overnight by magic.

With complex issues, the miracle question helps focus on what the goal may look like, how we will know if we’re hitting the right spot, and it also fosters a positive mindset. <- important for motivation and courage!

For complex problems, we break the problem down into steps, each one of which helps you build up progress and motivation.

As I also have 35+ years business experience and am an avid reader, I can also throw in suggestions from personal experience, scientific research, famous case studies, and media articles. It’s all grist to the mill.

While Rogers is the theory pushed by many schools, Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) approach is quietly popular as it’s very practical and empowering. Frankly, it’s one of my favourites.

If you want some help making changes, and you value your privacy, message me today via email ellen.whyte@gmail.com or WhatsApp: +44 7514 408143 for your free 15-minute consultation.

The Secret To Building New Habits. How To Train Your Brain

Our brains are resistant to change

It's the new year and this time we're going to get fit, read a book a week, eat healthily and…. Hang on, are you getting a sense of déjà vu?

New beginnings can inspire, but very often the impulse soon loses steam. And before you know it, all that rah-rah converts into guilt with a touch of shame as we worry we don't have enough willpower.

Here's how you can tweak a bit to help you make effective change.

We Are Designed To Resist Change

We like to think that we are powerful beings who are completely in control. As part of that story, we tell ourselves that all it takes to change a habit is to have the right mindset.

That's probably not entirely true.

The world is complex and dangerous, yet our species survives very well. One theory is that we are so fantastic at surviving because we have some inbuilt approaches that guide our thinking and behaviour.

This includes our tendency to think familiar= safe and unfamiliar=suspicious.

This works great when you're embracing your safe, familiar hunting ground on the plain and avoiding those amazing looking woods teeming with snakes.

It's not so hot when 'familiar' is snacking while watching Netflix and 'unfamiliar' is that spin class you signed up for.

Soooo, accept that building new habits isn't really about your morals or willpower; it's about overcoming millions of years of programming.

Rule #1 Dump the guilt. It's a waste of time.

Rule #2 Dump your punishment mindset

Many of us unconsciously adopt a punishment mindset. That sucks for a lot of reasons. Let me explain:

Supposing you are helping 10-year-old Suzie exercise more. If she goes for a walk three days in a row and then misses a day, would you tell her she's a lazy cow and useless?

Of course not.

If someone did call her names, what effect would that have on Suzie?

It would make her feel awful about herself and it would drain her motivation.

You wouldn't try to terrorise a kid or your friend, so treat yourself with the same kindness.

The secret to creating the right mindset for positive change is Motivate Yourself By Connecting With Your Personal Values

You're not a serial killer, right? You haven't launched genocide lately? Then you're probably a good person. Not perfect, but mostly good with a bit of gnarly here and there.

To give yourself a motivation boost, connect with your values.

For example: I'm exercising because I value my body and my health
Or, I'm exercising because feeling strong and flexible makes me happy

Rule #3 Disrupt your programming by making your brain view the new desired behaviour as more familiar.

The trick lies in keeping it SMALL and EASY.  Ideally, you tack a teeny bit of the new stuff onto a behaviour you already have and enjoy.

For example, when you like to snack in front of the TV, you do so, BUT while you're sitting down, you do ten left leg lifts and then ten right leg lifts. You do this once a night for a week.

Pro Tip: set your phone to remind you to do this. Or do it during the credits of a programme.

It's not difficult, and before you know it, you'll be exercising those legs automatically.

By February, buy a set of super cheap half kilo hand weights. Add ten lifts so you exercise your upper body.

By March, you're feeling pretty good about yourself, so you bookmark a few two-minute stretch workouts on YouTube. You do one or two a week.

Rule #4 You reinforce the behaviour you want

If you're not anxious or depressed, and you like to journal, then go ahead.

Another way is to buy a set of fridge magnets. Make a bet with yourself: for every two-minute YouTube workout you do, you move a magnet into the win area.

Seeing yourself win will give you a boost. Supercharge is by promising yourself a reward; twenty of those and you treat yourself to one of your favourite things.

Little changes add up

Rule #5 Slow is successful

When you have a teeny bit of change going on, it adds up. Think of it like compound interest.

By April you should be feeling pretty fit. That's when you check out some bigger exercise project.

Don't go for a gym membership yet!  Try a short programme, something limited. Also, it has be something you love!

Maybe you want to go for a dive class. Or perhaps you sign up for ten dance lessons.

Whatever it is, you'll be a lot fitter already, so you'll have extra energy. When you go for that extra exercise, you'll enjoy it more.

And that enjoyment will have you going back. <- that is success!

Extra help: Find a supporting angel

Learning curves are slippery!  We do well and then we slide a bit and then we do well again.

As your brain will try to reset to old and familiar, it helps to have a person cheerlead when you're doing well, and to offer comfort and support when you're sliding.

That's where I come in. I can help you work out a plan of action and map out proper motivation and support. Message me today via email ellen.whyte@gmail.com or WhatsApp: +44 7514 408143 for your free 15-minute consultation. 

Images by John Hain and Kevin Schneider from Pixabay