Why Abuse Survivors Hate Valentine's Day and Other Holidays

Abuse survivors typically aren’t comfortable with Valentine’s Day, Christmas, Chinese New Year, Deepavali, Eid and other holidays for good reason. When you are with people who enjoy being nasty, who take any opportunity for offense, and who live for creating drama, you learn: celebration = trouble.

Raj won’t celebrate Deepavali because that’s when his dad gets drunk and screams.

Grace’s bulimia flares up at Chinese New Year because that’s when her aunts bully her for being single.

Fiona is nervous around Valentine’s Day because her ex would hijack the holiday and use it to:
•    Tell she wasn’t pretty enough,
•    Complain his gift that wasn’t right,
•    Accuse her of cheating,
•    And then scream at her in public to humiliate her.

Holidays are fun when you are with good people, but for survivors these events bring up a fear reaction.  

If you know a Fiona, Grace or Raj, be kind.
If you are Fiona, Grace or Raj, know you’re not stuck!  You can learn new habits and create effective change.  If you’re looking for help on that, PM me <3