Client: She sabotaged me at work, and I know she did it deliberately.Emotions matter because they give us insight into what may be going on in our lives or our heads. Anger, for example, is a reaction to injustice. So knowing what you’re feeling is useful.
Therapist: How do you feel about that?
Client: I wanted to kill her! Clearly, I can’t. But still!
Therapist: I’m here for you.
Client: I don’t know what to do about this.
Therapist: How do you feel about that?
Client: ….!
Having a therapist who helps you figure out emotions is useful and being affirmed is not just lovely but gives you the courage to make positive change.
However, if you’re trying to work out new and better ways to manage regular issues, it can be very frustrating to work with a therapist who sticks purely to feelings and affirmation.
The Key to Success: Recognising Approaches
If you want to help someone manage their mental health, you need a proper approach. That means a theory of what constitutes good mental health, what leads to issues, and how you can help the client achieve better mental health.There are over 50 different approaches!
The one above is based on client-centered therapy, a system developed by Carl Rogers in the 1950s.
Rogers believed that therapy clients were looking for personal growth, so he focused on creating a supportive and nonjudgmental environment by reflecting the client's feelings, showing empathy, and fostering unconditional positive regard.
It’s great stuff but it is not really suitable if you’re looking for advice or solutions.
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| Inkie, the junior cat, because every post needs a cat photo |
One of the pitfalls of giving advice is that what works for me may not work for you. Luckily for us, though, there is a therapy approach that focuses on creating solutions safely.
Unsurprisingly, it’s called Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT). This approach was created in the 1980s, a time when efficiency was highly prized, by Steve de Shazer and Insoo Kim Berg.
Solution-focused therapy assumes you have good mental health, are skilled and are just looking for solutions for everyday issues.
Basically, we look at the problem, identify your strengths and resources and work out ways in which you can effect positive change.
Sometimes we use the miracle question, where you imagine how your life will be if the problem is resolved overnight by magic.
With complex issues, the miracle question helps focus on what the goal may look like, how we will know if we’re hitting the right spot, and it also fosters a positive mindset. <- important for motivation and courage!
For complex problems, we break the problem down into steps, each one of which helps you build up progress and motivation.
As I also have 35+ years business experience and am an avid reader, I can also throw in suggestions from personal experience, scientific research, famous case studies, and media articles. It’s all grist to the mill.
While Rogers is the theory must pushed by the BACP and many schools, Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) approach is quietly popular as it’s very practical and empowering. Frankly, it’s one of my favourites.
So, if you want some help making changes, and you value your privacy, talk to me, and tell me you’re looking for Solution-Focused sessions. Thanks for reading!
