When work stress won’t let you relax, here’s how to build relaxation habits

Target napping in bed

It’s raining in Thornaby so the cats demanded double tuna, early snacks and sloped off to bed where they are now napping.  

Cats are experts at relaxing, which brings me to the post.

In June we talked about getting back into reading and improving concentration. Some of you reported success; others struggled with giving up social media. 

We also had some conversations about work stress eating up personal time in the evenings that could be spent relaxing.

So if you find yourself scrolling social media and then kicking yourself, here’s how to you’re your relaxation habits.

Understand Why. In March this year, Meta (Instagram, Facebook and WhatsApp) and Google (YouTube) were found guilty of deliberately building their social media platforms to be addictive. BBC BBC

Also, brains love routine and worry about change. So if you have been scrolling for months/years and you suddenly take up reading, your brain will kick up a fuss (if we’ve not covered this in sessions, ask me when we speak).

So: ditch the self-blame. 

Avoid This Error.  Resist the temptation to make relaxation ‘moral’ or ‘worthy’ like learning Swahili or going running when you’ve loathed it since school. 

While there’s nothing wrong with learning or exercising, we’re talking about relaxation. Therefore, pick something you enjoy. 

This is harder than it should be because having entertainment is linked to moral panic. 

Example: In the 1750s, moralists wailed that reading novels corrupts morals, stirs up emotions, damages eyesight and leads to crime and insanity. 

History shows similar moral panics concerning other entertainment including: theatre, cinema, radio, television, reading comic books, and gaming. 

I suggest that life is for living; we have the right to relax. In fact, if we don’t, our mental health suffers. We can’t and should not be ‘on’ all the time.

So, use this information to give yourself permission to pick two things you will enjoy. Ideally, pick one like listening to an audiobook and another that requires less attention such as watching a film.

Then schedule relaxation time into your calendar or diary. That makes it official. 

Finally, if your stress rises, remind yourself that relaxation is vital to good mental health. Breathe, and gently push the thoughts aside.

Still stressed and unable to relax? We can check-in, assess what’s going on and work on a sensible path forward.

That’s it.
Warm wishes,
Ellen
PS didn't get the June email? Ask me and I'll forward it to you.