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What is your advice for finding true happiness inside and out? I’m sure I’m an undiagnosed depressed soul. I’m educated, employed, mother of 2 with a great husband of 22 years. I never feel happy and I’m sure I’m negative to my friends and family. I want to break the cycle. I’ve tried medication in the past but it was ineffective.
I’m sorry to hear you’re having a bad time
and glad you’re reaching out.
You have a lot of blessings but as you
note, depression can hit you regardless of what your circumstances are. That’s
what makes it so difficult.
Somehow or another, we have talked ourselves into thinking that's it's only okay to be depressed if you have a solid reason. But the fact is that depression can hit anyone at any time.
Don't worry about whether you've 'the right' to be depressed. It's just an issue you have to deal with, like having spots or sore feet.
Also, you’re not alone!
The 2017 National
Health and Morbidity Survey found that 29% of Malaysians suffer from depression
and anxiety disorder - that’s more than double the 12% who reported having
these issues back in 2011.
So, giving it's a really common problem, let’s start with the how you should approach tackling depression.
Ideally, you:
1. See your family doctor to rule out physical issues like thyroid
problems. More on that, here.
2. Talk to a therapist to see what stresses are in your life and to get
an accurate picture of exactly what is going on.
Only at that point do you see if you want
to explore medicine or therapy or both. Some more thoughts about that here.
I don’t know what you did or how long ago
it was but if it’s been a while, please adopt that approach.
Everyone is different so be fully informed
first and only then take decisions that suit you and your needs.
Also, a thought about the medication. NOTE: I am not a doctor and only medical doctors can discuss this properly. However, may I ask how
long you took meds? Because a lot of antidepressants take several weeks
before they start working. Doctors sometimes forget to explain that, and so
people pop a pill for three days, expecting instant results, and then quit.
If you did that, then factor that into
your decision making.
What would I suggest you do right away?
Rule out physical stuff and then talk to a therapist, starting with your workload.
I say that because, from your short
description, it sounds like you have a lot of roles and responsibility. Are you
perhaps overworked? Is everyone around you pitching in or are you somehow
bearing the whole load?
Also, what about your self care? Do you do
things that are fun for you? A little
happiness scheduling may be of benefit.I wrote a blog post on how that works, here.
Then, work on your communication. You
recognise you’re a bit negative, and that is a habit you can change. Get some
help with that, and learn to tweak your responses a little. A good strategy for
that is cognitive behavioural therapy. And yes, there's a blog post on that too, here.
I hope this helps you start your journey to happiness.
Image by Nattanan Kanchanaprat from Pixabay
