"Why Is Therapy So Expensive? And Do Your Bargain Rates Mean You Suck?" "Why Is Therapy So Expensive? And Do Your Bargain Rates Mean You Suck?" Breaking down therapy costs and how to figure out whether you are getting quality service for your money.

Therapy is wildly unregulated in most places. There are people who work for free or very low fees and others who charge a fortune.

We’re all careful with money, right? So you would be sensible to ask, why pay for therapy at all?

#1 Expertise Takes Training = Expensive. I’m a level 7 registered counsellor and psychotherapist, which is about the highest you can go; only a PhD is higher at a level 8.

My training consists of a Bachelor's degree, and a Master's degree. Aside from the classes, the Master’s degree included over 1,000 hours of unpaid internships, including 300 hours of therapy work supervised by other level 7s.

The training takes 6 to 7 years, and it costs a fortune. Part of the fees you pay goes to recoup my investment in my training. I also need to eat!

The upside for you is this: quality. 

Many charities and services offer mental health services but don't actually have anyone who is properly trained. As most countries allow anyone to practice, terms like 'our trained therapists' may mean someone who's read a book or taken a weekend course.  

Of course, some of these people can be very helpful some of the time! But there's also a dangerous downside. As they aren't trained, they will have trouble identifying issues and identifying evidence based best practice approaches.

Think of it in terms of plumbing. If you want to change a tap, you might be okay with a mate who has a spanner and who can read an instruction pamphlet. But would you let them install a new bathroom? Probably not.

I’m a quality plumber. The kind you trust to put in the bathroom complete with jacuzzi bath and fancy sink.  

#2 There’s Prep. You talk for an hour and stop. I put the notes together, invoice, and before we talk next time, I read the notes and prep. It takes time.

There’s other admin that comes with running a business, like doing my taxes, keeping my professional paperwork going and more, so your fees also contribute to paying for those overheads.

My professional memberships alone cost me £350 year, so the first 100 hours I work I don’t see a penny. I could drop them, but then it makes connecting with new clients harder.

#3 Training Never Stops. Every job involves constant learning but psychology is particularly intensive.

I do constant journal sweeps as well as reading new publications, attending lectures, and taking short courses. It costs money to stay current.

OK, So Why Are You Cheaper Than Your Peers?

Level 7s typically charge £70 to £100 for 50 minutes so I could charge a lot more and work fewer hours. Sadly, I have this pesky vision that mental health services should be reasonably affordable.

Therefore, I work on McDonald’s economic principles: lower margins but more people.  It means I work a bit more but I like my work so that’s okay.

I keep costs down by working online from home. I don’t have extra rent, a personal assistant, and I do my own marketing too.

When I’m older though, I plan to put up my prices and work a lot less. So hire me while I’m affordable 😊

Safe Dating: What to Know About Men Who Drug and Rape on Dates

Here’s a curious thing: it’s likely that your first IRL date is probably safe; it is your second date that’s potentially dangerous.

In the old days (pre-1990s!) dating was mostly conducted through friends or friends-of-friends. You might not know the person, but someone close to you would know their parents, whether they were single, where they worked, and so on.

Today we tend to work further from home and dating apps have us meet strangers.

Stranger-danger is a thing but when we are robbed, assaulted, or raped, it is more likely to be a relative or friend rather than a masked villain jumping out of a dark alley.

Many people who date online are normal, decent people. Flawed in human ways but inherently safe.  

A small percentage are extremely dangerous. If you’re online looking for love, this is one nasty way some predators work. Because forewarned is forearmed.

How Drug-Then-Rape Dates Work 

Predators hide their real selves

They’re warm and constantly sending photos of themselves and asking you about your day and your heart.  

When you meet, they’re sweet and you have a nice coffee or drink. Most likely, you’re happy when the date ends.

You text, you meet the second time – and then the coffee is spiked or maybe it was in your cocktail.

When you waken up, you don’t remember exactly what happened. Maybe you’re in a hotel. Maybe you’re at his place. Very often, he’s still around and he’s acting normally.

Many targets are completely confused at this point. They can’t believe they’re with a predator, so they try and ‘make sense’ of matters. They wonder if they were drunk. They wonder if they asked for sex.

They can’t believe the truth: that this is a regular occurrence because that ‘nice guy’ drugs his targets and then assaults them.

Note: most reports come from women attacked by men but men are also attacked – for sex and sometimes just for money.

If you report it, the rapist points at the texts you’ve exchanged. You’re good friends, you had a great time on that other date – and then he claims he’s the victim of a hysterical woman who was perfectly happy with a one night stand at the time but blah blah blah….  

How To Protect Yourself

First, awareness counts. Don’t accept drinks or food unless it comes straight from the bar or kitchen to you.  Don’t take your eyes off it.  If you’re uncertain, leave it.

Second, when you date strangers, always have someone collect you or check on you after the date. And tell your date up front at the start of the date that your brother/cousin/mum/father is collecting you or meeting you. Do this for the first six dates.

Finally, if anything feels off, leave.

Remember: tigers have stripes for a reason; it helps them blend in. Predators are tigers too, and they are very good at looking perfectly harmless. So be careful and don’t believe what people say about themselves; watch their behaviour to know who they are.

Image courtesy of HANSUAN FABREGAS from Pixabay

Looking For Therapy But Want Complete Privacy? Here’s What You Need To Know

You're under pressure. You need support. However, you're smart enough to seek therapy while protecting your career, your image, and your personal life from becoming office chatter. 

I'm a qualified psychotherapist with a master’s in counselling and a decade running an international practice across 20+ countries. Here's what I've learned about therapy privacy that most practitioners won't discuss.

Why Therapy Notes Could Destroy Your Life

Notes are useful for tracking progress. In big systems, they help if you change therapists.
But they can also wreck your life.

If you're LGBTQ in a hostile country, or in a high-stakes career, leaked notes can out you. If you're a founder prepping an IPO, they can put your deal at risk. If you're a politician or public figure, they can destroy your career.

Most therapists won't show you these notes, even when you ask. This practice is standard across the industry, though hardly reassuring for clients.

My approach: you choose. I can take no notes, take them and share with you, or take them and not share them with you. You’re the client. You decide.

👉 Read the full breakdown on therapy notes 

When 'Getting Help' Becomes Dangerous

Sometimes we feel terrible. Depression is common. But in therapy, discussions around feeling suicidal are tricky. 

In certain places, a therapist is obligated to notify the authorities if you disclose suicidal thoughts. Even if suiciding is a crime in your country. Even if you have terminal cancer.

Furthermore, the rules about self-harm are unclear. Just mentioning it leads to an automatic report in some places.

Read the small print. Your therapist agreement should spell out exactly when your privacy ends—and what happens next.

My Approach: I lived for 30+ years in places where they'd punish you for suicide or being LGBTQ, so I know the risks of getting the authorities' attention. My priority is your safety, which is why I offer personalized plans tailored to your needs. 

Before we start sessions, we discuss your mental health history. If you are at risk, we discuss what’s safe in your country. 

Usually, we see mental health crisis coming and we plan for them. But if one hits unexpectedly, and you tell me you're ending your life and refuse help, I’ll call your emergency contact. This is someone you select and approve before we begin sessions.

👉 See my therapy agreement

BetterHelp Sold and Health Assured Shared Your Secrets

Think your therapy app is safe? Think again.

BetterHelp was fined $7.8 million by the FTC for selling client data to Facebook, Snapchat, Pinterest and Criteo. You told them your deepest secrets. They turned your mental health struggles into profit..

They're not alone. Many “mental health tech” platforms harvest your data and send it to advertisers. This practice is deceptive and harmful.

In the UK, Health Assured, the country’s largest employee assistance programme, let employers and other people eavesdrop on sessions. Managers could listen in real-time to employee therapy sessions without the client's knowledge or consent. Clients were never told. As the BBC reported, this is standard practice in workplace mental health.

My approach: I won’t confirm you’re a client—even if your ex or boss asks. I don’t talk about clients. Ever. Period.
👉 Read: Can You and Your Friend See the Same Therapist?

Accreditation: A Nice Word for “I Share Your Case Notes”

The BACP is the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, the UK's largest therapy accreditation body, and it wants you to think “accredited” means better. It actually means your therapist has to share your notes.

Notes are often emailed. Anonymised? Sometimes. But if you live in a small town, work in a niche field, or have a public-facing job, you're still exposed.

It gets worse. To keep their shiny title, accredited therapists must pay other therapists to read your notes and give feedback. It’s a pyramid scheme dressed up as professionalism.
So clients pay for therapy... then pay again with their privacy.

Oh, the BACP endorses Health Assured. 

My approach: I left the BACP. I protect your confidentiality, I don’t hand over your records to climb someone else’s ladder.
👉 Why I Quit the BACP

Want to Keep Safe? Ask These Questions:

Before your first session, get clear answers to:
•    Who sees my notes?
•    Where are they stored?
•    What happens to my information if I'm involved in legal proceedings?
•    Have you discussed another client with anyone in the last year?

If they won’t answer clearly, or the contract’s full of jargon—walk away.

How I Work Differently"
•    You choose your level of note-taking and sharing
•    Your emergency contact is someone you select in advance
•    I don't confirm client relationships to anyone, ever
•    No sharing of case details ever for supervision or accreditation
•    Plain English agreements with no hidden clauses

👉 Read My Therapy Agreement
 

Your secrets should stay secret.
If you’re paying for therapy, you deserve better than marketing schemes, email leaks, and industry excuses.
I offer confidential, affordable therapy—and I work for you, not for a boardroom or badge. 

Ready for therapy that puts your privacy first? Book a confidential consultation to discuss your specific needs and concerns—no commitment required.


Note: with thanks to Chris Sansbury from Pixabay for the image.