How it
started: Alfred Adler (1870-1937) was an Austrian medical doctor and psychotherapist
who was interested in human development.
Studying his clients, he noticed that older kids in families often turned
out a bit differently than middle and younger kids. He thought that these
differences were due to birth order. 
Alfred Adler
Why it’s wrong: Scientific studies show that birth order doesn’t affect our development. There’s no such thing as “all first borns are x” or “or middle kids are Y.”
What is going on: We’ve come a long way since Adler, especially in hard science. Today we think that our development is a complex mix of genetics, personality, health, how people treat us, our thoughts, our socio-economic status, and our life experiences.
This bio-psycho-social model acknowledges that our early years are important, and a big part of this focusses on how our parents treat us. To a child, a parent is a god. We need them to love us and our world revolves around them.
Parents are also human and constantly evolving. Therefore, the eldest child may have strict parents who hover a lot but by the time there are four kids, the parents may be tired, less involved and maybe kinder too. Or maybe it’s the other way around!
Also, it’s not just parents that matter: our wider family, friends, school, community also are hugely influential. Kids don’t grow up in isolation, they’re growing up in a complex and constantly changing world.
Why does this discredited birth order theory hang around? Most of us have no training in scientific principles; this means we can’t evaluate critically. So we read something, see it two or three times, and assume it’s true. We also love simple ideas. And we’re resistant to letting go of an idea that no longer works.
So when a mental health expert says Adler was wrong, there’s a lot of upset. Online bullying is HUGE! Because of it, some of my colleagues are scared to say unpopular things. They shut up and go along with discredited ideas – or even pseudoscience.
I think it’s better to know that science is about constantly updating what we know. It’s unsettling but it’s also wonderful. And exciting. Also, it’s my job to help my clients be their best selves, and that won’t happen if they’re basing their decisions on discredited ideas or pseudoscience.
Final thought about Adler. Alfred Adler was a hugely clever man and a nice one too. He created a theory of mental health that says family, community, and social life are important for good mental health. This is the foundation of the school of individual psychology. This school of thought has changed over the century but it’s still massively useful.
Alfred Adler was also one of the few experts who wrote in simple language, so if you want to read his papers, just google them up. It’s interesting stuff.
And if you’re looking for a therapist who’ll tell you what’s still accepted theory and what’s bunk, PM me 😊
