Tuesday, July 15, 2025

“Therapy Is for Broken People. I’m Not Like That. I’m Just Fed Up.” Why successful men are trained to neglect themselves and how to get the life you deserve.

Jack runs a large team and commands a budget of $2mil. He’s super successful at work.
But when he goes home, it’s a different picture. 

“I don’t fit. The kids don’t talk to me the way they used to. My wife is more interested in her friends than me. They’ve got a good life but it’s never enough. Last year’s holiday to Kenya was fabulous but now they want to go to Bora Bora – for a month.”
“I’m fine. I’m just fed up.” 

Jack is not alright. Being miserable at home is no picnic.

Why successful men are trained to neglect themselves and how to get the life you deserve.
When something doesn't work, fix it!


Here’s what’s interesting:
If Jack had a problem with his accounts, he’d enlist the help of an accountant.
If he had an issue with Japanese knotweed in the garden, he’d enlist a professional to deal with it.

But when he’s miserable with the part of life that really matters, his private life, he toughs it out instead of dealing with it like other everyday issues.

Why?

One of the interesting things about modern masculinity is that it can deny men agency. 
Too often the focus is on things: money, job titles, toys. 
There’s the weird stereotype that says men are not allowed to be human beings, to have emotions, to be happy, to be fulfilled. 
Maybe that’s why in the UK and the USA, male suicide rates run at three times the rate of female suicides. Source   Source

My view is that life’s for living, for joyful and meaningful relationships.

So, if you’re a Jack, you don’t need fixing. But you need space to think.

If you can do this with your friends, awesome. 

But if you want to talk in a completely private space with a person you will not come across in a meeting or party, that’s me. 

Check how I guard your privacy, read this: Looking For Therapy But Don’t Want To Tank Your IPO or High-Octane Career? Here’s What You Need To Know To Get Mental Health and Keep Your Therapy Secret 

And if you're Frustrated With Therapists Who Only Reflect Your Feelings? Try Solution-Focused Brief Therapy - it's one of my favourites. 

While situations vary, a typical plan for Jack might be to restore mental clarity and motivation by:
•    Pinpointing where life isn’t working 
•    Seeking practical steps to improve boundaries at home
•    Resetting the relationships so there’s better balance

I work with high-performing men who need a private space to think clearly and act wisely. If that’s you, message me. 

#MensMentalHealth #ExecutiveWellbeing #MaleExecutives #PrivateTherapy

Photo courtesy of Med Ahabchane from Morocco on Pixabay